Ahh. I've been gone for a while but I've been hurting a LOT...
I was wondering if anyone here is better at research than I am.. or just knows more about medical things than I... I guess I'll list my symptoms and if anyone has any ideas.. please do tell.. Heh.. I'd go to the doctors but my parents won't take me.. it's too expensive.
My vision will randomly cut out. This one is very common and I find it's nearly everytime I stand up but also just randomly as I'm walking... I start to lose my balance and then my vision will start to close from the outside, in. sometimes it'll go back before all vision is lost, and when it goes back it's like the vision comes back from the inside, out. And I find it helps if I can stabilize my body and look down, and most often I'll fall to the ground and lose track of where I am in the midst of it all. (going for a few years maybe.. I forget)
This is also very common, maybe even most common. My ears ring.. a lot.. They just ring and ring for looong periods of time. it's never the same though. the pitch and length is always different. It's always there though, in the back of my head. very faint. and I have to listen if I want to hear it, sometimes. Other times it just gets loud :c (going for a few years maybe.. I forget)
Another sound thing, my ears will randomly do things, where it's like my ears need to pop, so everything sounds so off and just wrong ;n; but I can't pop them because they don't need to be popped, it's just a weird sound thing... and it'll come back randomly too. :/ (going for a few years maybe.. I forget)
I get random muscle exhaustion. Even if all I've done is lay down and relax. Sometimes it'll even be shortness of breath and just an all together hard time moving or breathing. I recall one time I was walking to the bathroom and on the way there I got tired, laid down, and couldn't move for almost 20 minutes because my body was too worn out. Sometimes I'll get random muscle spasm things.. Like if i'm writing or typing or drawing or something I just kind of smash random keys/drag my hand across the keyboard, or scribble random things... and random muscle pains.. this one speaks for itself I think.
(going for a few years maybe.. I forget)
a pain in my head. almost a pressure, or headache. it feels like a bunch of tiny people inside my head, trying to implode the wall to get out ;n; (started around 9/19/14)
memory loss.. well just an all together bad memory, and concentration, and everything needs to be perfect but I can't work if someone is watching.. (A VERY long time O-O)
I'm sad/cry for no reason. I want to feel pain because I can't imagine it, and because it just sounds nice half the time. I've always had a slight sadness problem, and I'm always scared for no reason.... (had this one as long as I can remember. based on my friends diagnosis, who had similar problems, it may just be depression)
I'll add more as/if they come, and feel free to ask questions or ask me to elaborate more on things..
and unfortunately all of these are causing a lot of pain, which is also causing me to be moody and irritable, with the constant feeling of internal screaming and crying that wants to escape but just can't and no matter how much I try I just can't get it to stop and I want to do the thing they do in movies where they rage and just throw everything everywhere and just destroy and burn anything and everything... :c Also, unfortunately, it's causing me to just be so mad at the littlest things (irritable?
) and I snap at my friends too much, but It's like.. I can't not..?